Are you making up stories?

My brain seeks answers; it refuses to settle. The problem is that it has caused me, in the past (and let’s be honest, in the present too, although I am now more aware and can often acknowledge and address it), to make up a story to give my brain an answer.

I would feel embarrassed by my need to ask, question, and research. People would often roll their eyes. This led to a lot of anxiety and shame-y feelings of being annoying so I would attempt to fit in and go with the flow, even though my mind would continue running in the background. I would make up a story - even if it was limiting - to give myself an answer.

Have you ever experienced a child who kept asking why? Most often, I’ve witnessed 1 of 2 things: The adult either gives the child some half-assed response to shut them up, or they scold the child to stop being so annoying.

I feel like the majority of our society is walking around with an inner child who experienced 1 of the 2 situations above. We accept the “it’s just the way it is” responses, or we avoid asking questions for fear of being annoying.

For years now, I have slowly been allowing myself to ask “But, why?” And like a muscle, the more I exercise it, the stronger it gets.

I learned to question and advocate for myself in 2018, though it took me 5+ years. I learned to question and advocate for my mare in 2020, though it took me three years. And now, I’ve learned to question and advocate for my gelding, though it took me 1.5 years.

Slowly but surely, I’m strengthening the muscle.

My gelding Paco has always been sensitive towards the farrier. He’s great for me when handling his feet, but the moment he saw someone with an apron & hoof stand, he’d start pacing, snorting, & resisting. It was getting worse & farrier day was something I started dreading. I kept asking questions and was told “his issues are just between his ears” (seriously, do we still have that mindset? 🙄).

In the past, I likely would have agreed and made up a story about it. “He doesn’t like men, he’s impatient, he’s just being naughty” etc. (None of which are true).

Now, I am in my horses’ corners. If they tell me something is wrong, yet a human says otherwise, I believe my horse.

So, without asking for advice or an opinion, I booked radiographs with my vet. I was going to get a clear answer; no stories, no excuses. From the results of the radiographs, we could see that his reactions have been his way of trying to communicate that it hurts and that what we were doing was not the answer.

I have since hired a new farrier who is the perfect fit for us. He is calm and patient, understands my horses’ needs, and approaches hoof care from a holistic, whole-body perspective.

I didn’t need to make up a story because I got the clear answers I was seeking.

I understand how easy and appealing it is for us to want to make up a story, but it’s not benefiting us (or our horses) in the long run. Answers will. Answers allow us to see things more clearly and therefore create a new path ahead.

Have the conversation, book the appointment, be willing to get quiet so you can hear your intuition, listen to your horse.

Cheering you on,